Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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