I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
