Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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