69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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