Can Purell be used as lube?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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