That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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