I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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