i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
