I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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