hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
