He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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