I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
