I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
