he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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