I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
