I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
