this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just want to make out with him forever
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
