will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
