You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
