I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
