I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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