she was so not down for the gang bang
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
