She's JV to your varsity
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What drink are we having for lunch?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i believe in u and ur pee
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