This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
