I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
