coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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