Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
