I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
