your parents love me but you hate me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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