I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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