dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
