how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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