Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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