I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
