my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
