Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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