Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
