Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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