You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
