Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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