woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
