She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
