Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
