i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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