on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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