I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
