he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
