do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
