with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
