So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
