bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
